How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
