We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
This show inspires me to have sex in space
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
