if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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