i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Randomize
