I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
i out mim tonsoeep
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