Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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