This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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