im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
