im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize