there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
