So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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