is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Randomize