He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
