I molested 6 butterflies tonight
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
