Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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