I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
