We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
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