I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
party gras won. party gras always wins.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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