i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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