Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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