May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i came on her dog
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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