I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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