We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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