You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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