dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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