I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Randomize
