So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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