When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
