Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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