She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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