I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
wakey wakey hands off snakey
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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