Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
