bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
