ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
