I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
cat food counts as protein by the way
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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