you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
