Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
