I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I want to be your penis for a week.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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