I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
