Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Randomize
