Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
