We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
