so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
