I want to walk on stilts...naked
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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