I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
