I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
