sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
