See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
