We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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