He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
