Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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