whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Randomize
