i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
