the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
