I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
