If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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