..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
