Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
