it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize