I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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