Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
one two three fourrrrnication!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
