Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize