Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
