Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
