hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
