she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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