You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
