Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
