Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
