That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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